Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
