The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Randomize
