4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
