Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
