i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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