im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
