8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
