You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i think my cat just said my name.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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