I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
