so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
