well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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