Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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