Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
