Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
