Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And then he peed in my hair
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