To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
