Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
