THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
