how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
