Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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