She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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