No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
