Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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