Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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