He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
