I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
