I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Drunk is a universal language darling
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
