I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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