i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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