his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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