you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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