pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
