You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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