i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
