Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let's get the cat blown out
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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