i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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