listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
