This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
