Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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