I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
