just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
