His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
