Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
