Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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