Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
