perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
