ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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