anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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