She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
