You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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